A Mother’s Reflection: 10 Lessons My Daughter Taught Me

Life is a beautiful thing… Indeed, a blessing...

Being alive, feeling it, and knowing you are alive is astounding…

Being alive and having been fortunate enough to produce and give life to a being is nothing short of a Miracle… Now that I reflect and look back, I understand more than ever—I have had a path worth celebrating and sharing.

I have been meaning to write to you for a while now baby girl, something to go with your undergrad Graduation ceremonies… It is time you get my raw thoughts on what you are and becoming. Normally when I decide to write I always have something to say and can articulate what I wish to share… I might stammer to speak but never to write… But this one, has not been that easy. Maybe it is because at your age, you are way better than I was at the same age, maybe it is because you are graduating at an age when I was already a Mother of two… Maybe it is because you have achieved what to me at that same time I would have been considered impossible for me… Like I said, It has taken me a while to pen down my thoughts, feelings and gratitude on your graduation, growth and the young woman you have become.

I feel a bit light-hearted that I know what I want to share, I know now that words cannot suffice… but at least the words can indicate a fraction of my reflection since the day I learned that I had an intruder in my womb. When you are young sometimes you are sort of stupid. I remember being shocked at “Why was I pregnant?!”, subtracting the sex in my mind as if pregnancy happened by climbing a mountain… I was scared, confused and everything seemed chaotic… But, baby girl, it was worth it.

From all this reflection, I finally have decided to share the best ten (10) lessons I have learned from you, my daughter and from becoming your Mother and Mom…

1. As much as I appreciated and loved my Mother I never knew her worth until I met you. Your birth gave me a present… Your grandmother, my Mom became a completely new person in my eyes. I started appreciating her as a person and not necessarily as a Mom, I found out the meaning of tough, reliable love and what it means to never break down and fold.
2. No matter how much you prepare, nothing prepares you for the reality of what it is to be a mother. It is not the breastfeeding; it is not the sleepless nights; it is not the frustration... It is taking your role and embracing it as a glove that fits your fingers. You can be a Mother and not a Mom. Being a Mom takes a toll on you, especially when you are confused and have not found yourself.
3. The best support system in the world is your Mom, She loves you best, she is a pillar and a shoulder that’s always there for you. This is evidentwith how my Mother has been a Mother to both of us; with completely two different personalities for each of us. I hurt for those who lost their Moms before they become Mothers. May their souls rest in peace. Baby girl you have taught me, aside from a Mother we need people we can trust, people who can support us, people who make life easier and people who may not necessarily love us, but appreciate us and stand by us whether a success or failure… Never forget all who have been part of your journey especially at the times that I was not there and the time you needed them most.
4. As much as circumstances, upbringings, and parents/guardians have a huge role to play in one’s life, one’s unique attributes have a huge role in the outcome. We have been brought up in almost the same household, but you are way better than I am, and you will be way better at my age than I will ever be, Insh’Allah! I see you, baby girl... Mommy sees you.
5. Your wisdom and ability to see beyond are evidence that being elderly is not synonymous with knowing it all. I learn from you in ways I never knew I would. There is no doubt about your Dad as well. You humble us… Thank you.
6. Love is a wonderful thing. As you love and grow older, you learn all kinds of love. Loving for yourself and loving for the best. It is when you become a Mom, that you learn of how reckless it is to choose a Man you love and who loves you instead of a Man who can be a Dad and a husband and cares for his loved ones.
7. The most valuable currency to your loved ones especially your children is “Time”. Time well spent together means a lot more than anything. A lesson I had learned way back when I had missed one of your most important days in your life. It is painful and it really hurts when over and over you fail to provide what matters most as a parent.. I am glad that TODAY I made it to one of the most important days of your life, may it be one of the many to come baby girl…
8. A smile is more than enough to make everything fine. You have the most beautiful smile in the world. Sometimes you would piss me off and make me really Mad, and then you would give me that reckless, ridiculously beautiful smile of yours with your “Mom jamanii…” and all the anger would evaporate…
9. I am always awed at how material things have never been as important to you but rather an add on to life. I love how you appreciate all people from all aspects of life, and how you respect them… I love how confident you are at an age when I was so passive and insecure… While I had found myself at age 30, you seem to already have found yourself, if not almost there. I look at you, and I learn over and over that God is indeed the Almighty.
10. You going to the university was so scary for me. How would you turn out to be? How will you be affected? What kind of girl would you be? While I trust you, I do not trust the world. I was scared it would overpower you. In the first semester, I would think of you first when I woke up and last when I slept. Look at you now… As time went on, I discovered that the rest of your university experience would be filled with many remarkable chapters. I needed to let go and let you be. In a hard way, I learned to have faith in your resilience and strength. The rest, baby girl, is history.

“An inspiration to the lessons, my one and only Daughter… Class of 2023”

My message to you...

My darling daughter, keep on being a great person. You are not perfect, and you are not supposed to be. Nevertheless, you are obliged to make sure, every day you are a better version of yourself than yesterday. Always be wise in what you do, with whom you surround yourself, and most importantly, always be a light to the world around you and have a life that adds value and impact. Make sure you strive to leave a positive mark in this world. Explore… Find your path. Always work hard, but never forget to take a moment to enjoy. Always be selfless, but always take a break and make sure you care of yourself.

May you find Love baby girl... While I can’t say it is easy to find a soulmate, may you eventually fall in love with a Man who is kind to you and absolutely cherishes you… A man who will make a home with you and find happiness in each other's lives When you pray, do not pray for perfection in a man; pray for a man with whom you would be perfect for each other.

My darling daughter,

You were born out of a beautiful Love… I loved you since you were not born by loving your Dad abundantly, I loved you when I first felt you in my body, I loved you when you were born and I had to peek on you every time for almost 6 months, not believing you were mine… I have loved every step of your growth and achievements. I love you today when you are graduating, and I will love you tomorrow and to infinity.

There is so much I can say, but for today, let me end here. The life of the next chapter has just begun. I, your mom, and the whole family wish you the very best in life!!

With Lots of Love & Affection,

Your Mom forever...

Hugs